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HOW I WORK

 

My clinical practice is informed by psychodynamic and attachment theories and an existential-phenomenological approach to therapy. Rather than using a structured and standardised approach, I adapt my work to meet my clients’ needs and presenting issues.

 

 

POSSIBLE FOCUS AREAS FOR WORK

 

To have better interpersonal relationships

Often people experience psychological distress and despair because they struggle to form or maintain satisfying interpersonal relationships. Our relationships are extremely important for our sense of well-being: they define who we are and how we feel about ourselves. Unfortunately, there are times when unresolved issues from our past can negatively influence the way we relate to our loved ones; we may, without being aware, project feelings we had for meaningful people who hurt us in the past onto the people who are close to us right now, creating conflict and separation.

 

Therapy can be really helpful in helping people who are experiencing distress in their relationship because it offers a space outside of the relationship to explore those painful feelings and make sense of the negative dynamic that gets created with their partner. Once more awareness is gained, it is easier for the client to start relating to their partner differently and break dysfunctional cycles.

There are times when it may be more helpful for both partners to have psychotherapy together. Exploring the emotional landscape of the relationship and identifying the patterns that the partners follow when relating to each other - the negative cycles the couple gets into - can help the couple break that cycle and learn to relate to each other in an emotionally healthier way.

 

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is the therapeutic approach that I use in couple work. It is an attachment-based approach which has proved in research to be highly effective in the treatment of relationship distress.  

 

To come to terms with bereavement or loss

Each story of loss - be it because of the death of a loved one or because of the end of a relationship - is different and painful in its own way and it is important that it has a space to be told. Unfortunately in our society death and loss are still a taboo subject for many and if you are grieving the loss of someone close to you, you may find that it is not easy to talk about your loss openly and to express your emotions, as people around you feel increasingly uncomfortable with the issue and expect you to be ‘ok’ after a certain time. However, trying to be ‘ok’ before you are actually ready can make things worse in the long term. If the natural grieving process is stopped prematurely, the suppressed emotions may come back to the surface later in form of depression or anxiety.

 

In our sessions I will help you work through your grief and we may also explore some coping mechanisms to help you when you are on your own. You will have a safe space and confidentiality to come to terms with your loss and process all the feelings arising from this life-changing event, as grief often involves a progression of different emotions and reactions that include shock and/or numbness, anxiety, anger and sadness, all experienced in a uniquely personal way and often very difficult for people around to completely understand.  

 

To overcome trauma

Whether it’s a traumatic memory from childhood that is still haunting or a more recent event that is affecting you, processing the traumatic memory in the safety of the consulting room will allow you to slowly integrate the memory so that it no longer holds that power over you. To facilitate such processing I may use, when appropriate, a highly successful approach called EMDR.

 

To better cope with anxiety

We all share certain conscious or unconscious anxieties. Personal values and goals aren’t always straightforward and at certain stages in  life we may experience a painful bewilderment and anxiety of not knowing what direction to take. In my therapy practice I help my clients examine the roots of some of their anxieties and by gaining a deeper understanding of such anxieties clients usually find that they can better cope with them.

 

To increase self-awareness and develop a more reflective stance towards life

We often make decisions based on pressure and influence from society, family, and friends instead of listening to our own needs and desires. As a consequence there may be inner conflicts, unhappiness, and feelings of powerlessness. In existential therapy, my challenge is to help clients become more truthful with themselves and authentic in the choices they make.

 

To be able to take responsibility for decisions

Through an existential analysis of their current situation and life choices, I aim to help my clients develop a better sense of how they are the authors of their lives, to become more aware of the different choices available to them, their freedom to make decisions, and the consequences of their actions for themselves and the people around them.

 

To find personal meaning

Unfortunately a sense of emptiness and meaninglessness are quite pervasive problems in our society. They lead to despair, great psychological discomfort, destructive activities and addictions. I seek to help my clients to uncover meaning in their lives, even when life means painful experiences and crises, through deep personal reflection and subsequent action. I pay  attention to my clients’ emotions, beliefs, and talents, and encourage them to find their own meanings and truths.

 

 

Further information about clinical practice:

Psychotherapy, Counselling and Coaching: What’s the Difference?

 

 

Interesting books on psychotherapy

Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy, by Irvin Yalom  

Momma and The Meaning of Life. Tales of Psychotherapy, by Irvin Yalom

Staring at the Sun, by Irvin Yalom

Psychotherapy and The Quest for Happiness, by Emmy Van Deurzen

Tales of Unknowing: Therapeutic Encounters from an Existential Perspective, by Ernesto Spinelli

 

Other recommended books on a variety of topics:

Sweet Sorrow: Love, Loss and Attachment in Human Life by Alan Eppel (a great book on love and loss)

Lonely by Emily White (a touching book on the subject of feeling lonely and disconnected from people)

The Mindful Way Through Depression (self-help book for dealing with depression using mindfulness and meditation)

Hold Me Tight (to help couples in distress learn to relate to each other differently)

Finding Square Holes (for help finding career direction/changing career)

Life Meanings (quite a scholarly book that stimulates thoughts on what may give meaning to our life)

When Things Fall Apart:Hearth Advice for Difficult Times (a spiritual/Buddhist perspective on dealing with crisis)