HOW I WORK
My clinical practice is informed by psychodynamic and attachment theories and an
existential-phenomenological approach to therapy. Rather than using a structured
and standardised approach, I adapt my work to meet my clients’ needs and presenting
issues.
POSSIBLE FOCUS AREAS FOR WORK
To have better interpersonal relationships
Often people experience psychological distress and despair because they struggle
to form or maintain satisfying interpersonal relationships. Our relationships are
extremely important for our sense of well-being: they define who we are and how we
feel about ourselves. Unfortunately, there are times when unresolved issues from
our past can negatively influence the way we relate to our loved ones; we may, without
being aware, project feelings we had for meaningful people who hurt us in the past
onto the people who are close to us right now, creating conflict and separation.
Therapy can be really helpful in helping people who are experiencing distress in
their relationship because it offers a space outside of the relationship to explore
those painful feelings and make sense of the negative dynamic that gets created with
their partner. Once more awareness is gained, it is easier for the client to start
relating to their partner differently and break dysfunctional cycles.
There are times when it may be more helpful for both partners to have psychotherapy
together. Exploring the emotional landscape of the relationship and identifying the
patterns that the partners follow when relating to each other - the negative cycles
the couple gets into - can help the couple break that cycle and learn to relate to
each other in an emotionally healthier way.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is the therapeutic approach that I use in couple
work. It is an attachment-based approach which has proved in research to be highly
effective in the treatment of relationship distress.
To come to terms with bereavement or loss
Each story of loss - be it because of the death of a loved one or because of the
end of a relationship - is different and painful in its own way and it is important
that it has a space to be told. Unfortunately in our society death and loss are still
a taboo subject for many and if you are grieving the loss of someone close to you,
you may find that it is not easy to talk about your loss openly and to express your
emotions, as people around you feel increasingly uncomfortable with the issue and
expect you to be ‘ok’ after a certain time. However, trying to be ‘ok’ before you
are actually ready can make things worse in the long term. If the natural grieving
process is stopped prematurely, the suppressed emotions may come back to the surface
later in form of depression or anxiety.
In our sessions I will help you work through your grief and we may also explore some
coping mechanisms to help you when you are on your own. You will have a safe space
and confidentiality to come to terms with your loss and process all the feelings
arising from this life-changing event, as grief often involves a progression of different
emotions and reactions that include shock and/or numbness, anxiety, anger and sadness,
all experienced in a uniquely personal way and often very difficult for people around
to completely understand.
To overcome trauma
Whether it’s a traumatic memory from childhood that is still haunting or a more recent
event that is affecting you, processing the traumatic memory in the safety of the
consulting room will allow you to slowly integrate the memory so that it no longer
holds that power over you. To facilitate such processing I may use, when appropriate,
a highly successful approach called EMDR.
To better cope with anxiety
We all share certain conscious or unconscious anxieties. Personal values and goals
aren’t always straightforward and at certain stages in life we may experience a
painful bewilderment and anxiety of not knowing what direction to take. In my therapy
practice I help my clients examine the roots of some of their anxieties and by gaining
a deeper understanding of such anxieties clients usually find that they can better
cope with them.
To increase self-awareness and develop a more reflective stance towards life
We often make decisions based on pressure and influence from society, family, and
friends instead of listening to our own needs and desires. As a consequence there
may be inner conflicts, unhappiness, and feelings of powerlessness. In existential
therapy, my challenge is to help clients become more truthful with themselves and
authentic in the choices they make.
To be able to take responsibility for decisions
Through an existential analysis of their current situation and life choices, I aim
to help my clients develop a better sense of how they are the authors of their lives,
to become more aware of the different choices available to them, their freedom to
make decisions, and the consequences of their actions for themselves and the people
around them.
To find personal meaning
Unfortunately a sense of emptiness and meaninglessness are quite pervasive problems
in our society. They lead to despair, great psychological discomfort, destructive
activities and addictions. I seek to help my clients to uncover meaning in their
lives, even when life means painful experiences and crises, through deep personal
reflection and subsequent action. I pay attention to my clients’ emotions, beliefs,
and talents, and encourage them to find their own meanings and truths.
Further information about clinical practice:
Interesting books on psychotherapy
Other recommended books on a variety of topics:
Lonely by Emily White (a touching book on the subject of feeling lonely and disconnected
from people)
The Mindful Way Through Depression (self-help book for dealing with depression using
mindfulness and meditation)
Hold Me Tight (to help couples in distress learn to relate to each other differently)
Finding Square Holes (for help finding career direction/changing career)
Life Meanings (quite a scholarly book that stimulates thoughts on what may give meaning
to our life)
