If you are experiencing a very difficult time in your relationship and are thinking of separating, before you finalise the separation or divorce it may be helpful to take the time to explore how you got to this point, and gain more clarity. That clarity will allow you to choose one of these three courses of action:

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• Continue with the separation process and finalise it with peace of mind.​

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• ​Put the separation plan on hold for six months and work on the relationship in couple therapy, with the aim of breaking the negative patterns that got the relationship in trouble.​​​

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• Continue with the relationship with no further action, having achieved more clarity and a renewed commitment towards the relationship.

 

The main benefits of Discernment Counselling are that you get clarity and understanding as it helps you gain insight into individual and shared contributions to relationship problems. It will help you prevent rushed decisions that might be regretted later. It fosters respect for individual needs, as it recognises that partners may be at different points emotionally.

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Overall, discernment counselling is aimed at those "mixed-agenda" couples, where one partner is unsure about staying in the relationship and the other is invested in saving it. This type of counselling supports thoughtful decision-making, respecting both partners’ desires and concerns.

 

Practicalities:

The first session is a joint session, while the following two are individual sessions with each partner. Depending on the outcome of the individual sessions, a joint session might then be suggested or further individual sessions, to further explore and have more clarity.​​